


Cut Between the Rain

by lyriumnug



Category: Purple Hyacinth - Ephemerys & Sophism (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Chapter 43 Reference, Decidedly unrequited affection?, F/M, Graphic descriptions of injury, I don't do betas, Kieran White feels guilty for being in love and won't accept that's what makes him human, Pain, Trauma, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:09:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyriumnug/pseuds/lyriumnug
Summary: When Lauren is poisoned by Bella and on the edge of life and death, Kieran has no choice but to force his ways through a boundary he swore never to breach again.TW: Literally every trigger from Chapter 43 as well as all the tags.
Relationships: Lauren Sinclair & Kieran White, Lauren Sinclair/Kieran White
Comments: 10
Kudos: 50





	Cut Between the Rain

**Author's Note:**

> NO BETAS I DIE LIKE I LIVED: stupid

She laid there on the concrete, eyes semi-lidded as she stared up aimlessly at the full moon that was half covered by his form. Lauren could see the droplets of rain slide down the tips of Kieran's bangs as she convulsed from below him. 

"Lauren...Lauren can you hear me?  _ Keep your eyes open _ !" He called out to her desperately, an attempt made in vain to keep her from fading. "I can help you, you just...just don't  _ move _ ,  **_alright_ ** ?"

What the assassin had expected was for Belladonna to strike the precinct, but he hadn't expected her to strike  _ her.  _ God, anyone but her. But Bella had her own reason, her own score she wanted to settle with Lauren. Kieran took so much from her. Why couldn't she just fool around and ruin his life in return? 

"Listen, she cut you with a special venom that wasn't golden viper." 

He's helpless in her struggle to remain still, body convulsing and bile forcing its way up her throat. "It's more potent, but it's a slower poison. It makes the affected struggle longer." 

Kieran looked wretchedly at the slash on Lauren's neck, her skin splayed open and stained with blood that oozed and dried down her neck. The liquid looked like black tar in the darkness of the night. He knew there was only one way to save her, but couldn't...he couldn't breach that.

He propped Lauren up on his knees, holding her back with his arm and cradling his jacket around her in an effort to soak up the blood. She breathed heavily like the air that escaped her was the last that ever would. The fear in her glassy eyes only heightened. He couldn't tell whether those were tears or drops of rain falling down her sickeningly pale face. 

"I need to get the poison out of you before you…" He breathed to calm himself. Kieran had to control his emotions and not break. He was always so strong. She needed something to trust even if it was the worst person in her eyes. "Lauren, I need to suck the poison out of your neck."

Upon hearing that, her convulsions turned more voluntary as she tried to break herself free from his embrace with the small reserve of strength she had left. 

" _ I-I can f- _ **_fix_ ** _ it myself _ ." Lauren said through clenched teeth, finding it difficult to even speak without feeling vomit rise. She clenched her fists and let out another groan of pain. 

"Lauren, you can't do it yourself. I'm not taking no for an answer! You're being stubborn,  _ please _ ." He begged despite already reaching his hands to her neck. 

Almost on command, her shaky hands reached up to cover it from the front to the nape. " **N-No! N-N..** **_no_ ** ." Lauren shuddered. "L-Let me go!"

She was still so affected by the cave. The trauma never left her. Even in such a dire situation, Lauren wouldn't let her body forget his grip on her throat. It  _ couldn't. _ She wanted to open up to him and his help but something inside wouldn't quit holding it's guard. 

Kieran paused a moment and looked into her eyes. Lauren, for the first time, had her soul laid bare for him. He could see her helplessness, her fear, and her mortality all in that glimpse into her amber irises. Seeing her eyes well up with tears drove him to the edge. He would rather live with her villainizing him her entire life than her not having that life at all. 

Without hesitation, he ripped her hands away from her throat, brought his lips to the gash and sucked with urgency, hoping the venom wasn't too deep. Kieran knew that it wasn't harmful if ingested orally, but the sting of it on his tongue mixed with the metallic taste of her blood was enough to drive him mad. 

Lauren gasped and lurched back in his arms, hitting Kieran and pushing as hard she could to keep him off. It was no use; his hold around her was shackling. 

"K-Kie- _ ngh!  _ **_Please!_ ** " She begged as she writhed in pain. 

She could feel his teeth dig into the wound, opening it further. Through her struggles, all she could do was fight against it and clench her eyes shut in torture as blood curdling screams escaped her. Lauren could hear him laughing in her mind with every fearful blink of an eye. 

How could this...this  _ monster _ so hell bent and humored by her and others pain possibly be trying to save her? 

_ I'm not safe. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. Monster. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. Help me. Monster. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. Monster. I'm not safe. I'm not safe. I'm not safe.  _ **_Monster_ ** _. _

The words echoed in her mind fervently. Her trembling fingers reached out to his head, gripping all the strands of his wet hair she could take in her hands to rip him away from her. 

He bit down unintentionally due to her infliction of pain. Despite her pull, however, he kept his lips locked to her skin. 

_ I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster. Save her. I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster. Get off of her. Save her. Leave her be. Save her. You're the monster.  _ **_Don't let her die because of you._ **

The smell of daffodil, hemlock, and yew tarred his senses, making Kieran inch closer to collapse. It had to be over soon. It  _ will _ be over soon. He couldn't hold on anymore. 

In his haze, Kieran fell back off of her, lips leading a trail of yellow tainted saliva back to the gash. It looked ugly. It looked... _ gruesome, _ but at least she was alive. 

"S-Stay... _ away _ from me." Lauren demanded through puffs of air. She moved slightly off of his lap; his grip on her was far less restraining now. "What did you do to me...K-Kieran…. _ Kieran!" _

He breathed heavily, collapsing on top of her legs. He was unable to respond, but to be honest, should he have if given the chance? What could he have said? There's no way she would ever look him in the eyes again. 

Lauren felt his chest against her, the heartbeat that was steady and quickly began to decay into short pulses. They were wet: soaked in rain and perspiration. Kieran's body felt like a corpse weighing on her. 

" _ Answer...a-answer me, Kieran." _ Lauren demanded weakly, head still reeling. She felt lighter than before, like her body was made of paper.

In her rattled state, she wondered how she could even let his name slip off her tongue. She was so terrified of him, so  _ angry _ at him, but his silence was the scariest part of all.

Lauren slipped out from under Kieran and laid his back on the ground before falling besides him. They breathed heavily side by side as the rain poured down on them. She looked up at the cloudy sky before turning to face him. 

His eyes were squeezed shut and his lips slightly parted. She could hear his labored pants faintly between the droplets landing in their puddles. 

She gave up on trying to communicate. Neither were in any state to stand, nor were they in a state to communicate with one another. Lauren decided it was better to just sit there in silence until one of them could muster the strength to leave and get help. 

“A...Are you alright?” Kieran asked quietly, turning his head away from her. 

She tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t leave her lips. Hearing him speak again paralyzed her. Lauren could only breathe and try to slow down her heart.

He let out a strained chuckle, coughing a bit as the puffs of laughter lifted from his chest. She was safe...she was safe and that’s all that mattered, but why did he want more? He couldn't ask for more. What was he expecting? Lauren to just forget the trauma he had induced upon her? No. She never would. This wasn’t a favor. This wasn’t an effort to get in her good graces. This was something he did out of desperation. He  _ needed _ her. 

Kieran wanted to hear her banter again. He wanted to see her eyes roll at his attempt at humor just  _ one more time _ , but this wasn’t the world for that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for suffering


End file.
